"Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people." Exodus 13:22

Yesterday morning I woke early. Looking out the window of a
friend’s home in Grand Marais, I saw the fog that was enveloping everything for
as far as the eye could see. I was drawn to it. Getting up and making the
coffee which would warm my hands as I cradled it in the cool morning air, I
headed just a few blocks away toward the beach. The gulls circled someplace
overhead though I knew them only by the sound of their voices. Nearly
everything was invisible in the density of the grounded clouds. I stood looking
out toward what, the night before, had been the clear, dark blue waters of Lake Superior, now sensing only its deep Presence. I stood shrouded in the fog
looking out toward the horizon, the shifting stones of the beach crunching
under my feet. I realized I was holding my breath as I waited for some sound,
something to become visible to me, some affirmation that I was not alone.

 
As the Sun began to lighten the morning sky, the fog gave
way and the outline of a yellow sailboat caught my eye. Out in the distance the
sound of a ship’s signal awakened my senses further. I had no idea how near or
how distant the path it was traveling on the Big Lake,
Gitchi Gumee. Someplace out there on the deck of a ship headed to who knows
where, someone may have been looking back toward me as I looked longingly for
their outline against the ever brightening sky.  I was receiving the message I had so many
times before….”Do not be afraid. You are not alone.”

The thought crossed my mind: This is often how it feels in
my experience of the Holy One. I stand in a fog, straining with the eyes behind
my eyes to see the outline of the One who is as near as the Breath I am
holding. Out in the distance that Presence, as near as my gently rising chest, signals to
me…..”Here I am, here I am.” I exhale. I inhale. Knowing, deeply knowing.