Illusion

"A child stood on his seat in a restaurant, holding the railing of the chair back as though to address a courtroom. "Nobody knows what’s going to happen next". Then his turning-slide back down to his food, relieved and proud to say the truth, as were we to hear it."  Colman Barks,"The Railing"

Time is off for me today. I presided at a funeral this morning and when that happens, the preparation, the funeral itself, the celebration, the sadness, the being present to so many people, causes a sense of the suspension of time for me. In many ways it is a welcome relief to the calendar that is divided into hour increments of where I need to be next. So I am writing late in the day….not my normal practice.

Being in this different state of time is fine with me because this weekend we "fall back". On Saturday night we  participate in the illusion that we as humans are in control of time to begin with by setting our clocks back an hour. (Consider this a public service announcement.) I always joke that this is one of my favorite weekends of the year. I get great joy from the idea that I can change the clocks in one room and gain an hour of the day. Walking between rooms I have the sense of gaining and losing, losing and gaining. Slowly throughout the day I will move from room to room until finally the time travel is complete….the gift of an extra hour. What to do with it? It boggles the mind.

I suppose since the invention of clocks this illusion that we can ‘tell’ time or, God forbid ‘buy’ time, has been with us. Our ancestors allowed the Sun, Moon and Stars to guide their understanding of the ebb and flow of time. We, instead, most often want to tame it, lasso it and make it behave for our purposes. But then there is the truth of that child’s voice…."Nobody knows what’s going to happen next."

We can plan, we can set our alarms, we can say ‘it’s 8:00, time to eat dinner’. But much of life….often the most important parts…. moves in the truthful words of that child. So much of what really matters is unknown yet.

So on Saturday you might find me wandering around with a smile on my face, relishing the idea of that extra hour.But I will try to open my presence to whatever the day brings. I will try not to think of the time that I am getting back…it was never mine to begin with. Instead I will keep my eyes, my heart and my mind alert,ready for what’s going to happen next.

Have a blessed, restful weekend……………….