Soul Friend

"Listen to your life. All moments are key moments." Frederick Buechner

Once a month, I go into a quiet, beautiful little room with another person. We sit in soft, comfortable chairs. She lights a candle and we sit in silence for some time. She welcomes the Holy One into our midst and she prays a short prayer. Then I begin to tell her what has been happening in my life since we last met. She listens. She listens not to try to help me fix some psychological or emotional problem but to help me hear how the Sacred has been at work in my life. She asks a question here and there. She makes an observation. She might quote scripture or another sacred text. We end our time in prayer. I leave, sometimes with as many or more questions as I came with and sometimes feeling as if I’ve had the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. It is holy time.

Today we call such a relationship, spiritual direction. The ancient Celts called this relationship, "annam cara" or soul friend. It is a great gift to have someone listen to your life. This soul friend relationship is different than a partner or spouse, even another friend. Those people hear us with a different kind of love, a different kind of listening based on shared history, shared life experiences. A spiritual director is someone trained to listen deeply for how God is moving in the life of another. More importantly they are trained to help the speaker really hear how God is moving in their life.

In our fast paced, deadline based world it is so easy to keep moving only hearing the swoosh of traffic, the background banter of the radio, the flip and flop of feet rushing by. Our  monkey chatter brains keep us moving form idea to idea, thought to thought, fear to fear, anxiety to anxiety. It is easy to believe that God is not in it with us.

Each month my soul friend helps me stop,look and listen to the pulls, pushes and gentle nudges of the Divine.  She helps "keep me honest" in how I choose to live faithfully. She often prays that God will meet me "at my workbench". I always grin inwardly at that image. It makes my work seem much more physical that it is, much more earthy.

For all who are sitting at their workbench,whatever your work may be, may the Holy One sit beside you and bring you peace.