"The journey we begin as we answer the call is long,and filled with all we have been and all that we will become." Caristonia Worthington

In preparation for Lent which, believe it or not, begins in four weeks, I have been reading about pilgrimage and journey. This concept will be a part of our Lenten theme. The result of this reading is that I have been thinking about my own spiritual journey, its twists and turns, its rest areas, its time of great turbulence, its long periods of going nowhere. I share this because experience tells me I am not alone in this. Reflecting at all on the spiritual life brings with it ambiguity,doubt, general messiness along with revelation.

Caitlin Matthews writes:"Our spiritual journey leads us through many stations of experience. We feel the need to travel in company with others:we join churches, courses, movements, and groups, learning all that we can from the leaders and exponents. Sometimes sharing the journey is helpful and supportive to our unique spiritual call; other times it is very dissatisfying, causing us to give up and continue our journey elsewhere. This period of spiritual nomadism can be lengthy, as we move from place to place, from religious movement or spiritual group in search of the meaning beneath the meaning."

It has been a privilege of my life…my spiritual life…to have known so many people who have done such ardent searching. Their curiosity and deep longing has kept their spiritual life rich and growing, yet often painful. In our conversations I have grown and deepened my own faith life, my own journey. Being on a path with those who seek to understand the "meaning beneath the meaning" helps me discern my own long quest and how the Holy walks with each of us in traditional and very nontraditional ways. It one of the great gifts of being in community, of being a spiritual being having a bodily experience.

Every Christmas Eve my family gathers with life-long friends and others we’ve come to know and love throughout the year. Years ago,one of our ‘tribe’ began sharing a tradition handed down from her mother. We gather in a circle and she hands out to each of us this wafer-like cracker. Making the circle once again, she puts a drop of honey on the wafer. After we have our sweet white treat in hand, she says:"Now, during this year if you are ever lost in the woods, remember who you are with right now and you will find your way home."

For many years the children in the group heard these words and thought of fairy tales they knew. The teenagers often rolled their eyes. But as a group we somehow know that this ritual is both fun and very deep, a metaphor for walking the journey together, for sharing the spiritual path, for finding a way home to rest in the meaning beneath the meaning.

Blessings on your weekend journeys…………………

"The first thing, the last thing, start from where you
are."   Dale Pendell

I had copied this quote down on the top of a sheet of paper. It seems like one of those ridiculously simple statements that cause some people to say, "well,duh!" Yet, for whatever reason, I had jotted it down to remember…maybe for this day. At what other point might I start than where I am?

Yet, here we are at the beginning of another new calendar year. Many people have made a list of resolutions a mile long that really are planted in old soil, moldy thoughts, thirsty dreams.There is not a drive to start from ‘where you are’ just a push to rehash all the old stuff packed in our bags for years.

Perhaps I thought of this quote because the beginning…..where I am today….started out in such an amazing way. Driving my son to school, I was mesmerized by the light reflecting off the snow. Blue as blue could be…..blue snow.…making a bed for the jet black sticks of trees rising toward the burgeoning light. Then I saw it. First a sea shell pink gently washed across the pale blue horizon….a baby blanket of a sky. Before I could even take in that subtle beauty, brilliant yellow streaked out of those colors…how does that happen? Sunflower yellow gave way to blaze orange and then all the colors moved(without my being able to see the movement)and became a canvas that reached across the eastern horizon. I stopped. I took it all in, this gift of an unimaginable painting on the morning sky. Right where I was.

Gathering my wits I turned west, making my way toward my morning meeting. But, no….the beauty would not stop hounding me. That canvas of shining sky had the audacity to throw its light further and further until there it was….The Ruby City….Minneapolis’ glass skyscrapers reflecting the gift of the morning sunrise for all to see. Right where I was.

So I ask myself….I ask you…on a day so miraculous, how could we want to start any place else? The gift of this morning, the gift of this day. This is where we begin…bathed in art not of our own making, walking in a world filled with miracles yet to behold. Right where we are.

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth…and I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice saying, "See, the home of God is among mortals."  Revelation 21:1-3

So today begins another year of using new things. Things received as gifts, things purchased on clearance tables, surprising things found when looking through those boxes you open once a year which hold things once new, now not so. Yesterday I took down the calendar from 2007 consisting of photos of the stained glass windows in the National Cathedral. I have saved these, cut them out for use in, who knows what? Some other new thing…a bookmark, a card, a collage…..made out of an old thing…that will always hold a memory of the year just past. The 2008 calendar now hangs in its place boasting beautiful pictures of environmental art. Next year it, too, will be retired. Another ‘new thing’ that will be used up this year and find another use in the new year.

Tonight I will take the time to record phone numbers and addresses in my new personal calendar. Yes, I am one of ‘those people’ who still use a paper calendar and ink to schedule the daily events that make up my life. I have never been able to give in to a palm pilot or other technological calendar. I need the pictures, the photos, the little bits of wisdom that graces each day. Take today, January 2nd, for instance. The message simply says "Appreciate time". As I look back at yesterday I  am encouraged to ‘envision peace’ because January 1st, in addition to being the beginning of a new year, is also World Peace Day. Did you know? I didn’t and would not have known if I hadn’t chosen this calendar to travel with me throughout this year.

I spend a great deal of time choosing calendars. It is a commitment. They will, after all, be with me all year….in boring and exciting meetings, for birthdays and dental appointments, for planning vacations and school release days, as a reference point for that very special dinner party that is yet to be created. As far as I am concerned, choosing a calendar is a decision that takes time and a certain amount of reflection. Once or twice I have even had to abandon a calendar that was chosen too quickly. It was a disappointment.

As I think about these new calendars they take on the presence of a traveling companion. What will we see together this year? Will the days fill up with joyful and creative experiences? Will too many days fly by with little, if anything, recorded? Will the times and events be gifts or simply obligations? When I retire this calendar, once new, will I look fondly back over the year’s experiences or be happy that they were survived? Three hundred and sixty-three days will tell the story.

A new year. A new calendar. An open book of spaces and places yet to be recorded,discovered,lived.

"Now is the time to know that all you do is sacred."  Hafiz

"At this turning point, as at others, we pause from our struggle to hold on and relax into the passing of what is no more. We pause from our sadness and rest on a carpet of green moss. We pause from our longing and drink in the sufficiency of this moment. We pause from our dread of emptiness and enter a deeper emptiness:still, luminous and sweet. At this turning point, as at others, we take a breath and step forward unprepared but awake. And you, dear sister-brother, from what do you pause at this turning-point, as at others?"  John Davis, teacher, Ridhwan School, Colorado

Speaking with a friend this morning,he asked how I was viewing this turning of the year. I admitted to him that, as years go, this had not been an easy one in some respects. I prefaced this by saying that my statement was certainly relative….in comparison to the challenges many people I know are struggling with, my life has been a piece of cake. This is always the case, isn’t it?  We view our lives in specifics but also in how they compare to others’.

During worship yesterday we spoke of peace…..both inner peace and the absence of war, the living out of justice at its deepest level. As people offered their prayers we expressed sadness, despair, anger, frustration, at the situations of the world…..our seeming lack of power to change, to be enlightened, to be a change agent. I believe we offered these prayers knowing that we are the people of privilege. We do not know what it is like to live with the fear of war at our doorstep every day, the fear for our children’s lives.  We know the specifics of our hopes and our prayers but hold them up to the reality of those for whom we pray.

And so on this eve of a new year, we are held in the balance of what might happen in 2008. This may be the year when, through prayer, creativity, a shedding of ego and tremendous diplomacy, we may end our occupation of other countries. This may be the year when, through hard work, brilliance and sheer luck, cures for diseases which hold us hostage will be found. This may be the year, when we pause and realize what we hold in common is more important than what we believes divides us. This may be the year………..

And so, let us ‘take a breath and step forward unprepared but awake’.

A blessed new year to you all……………….

On this Christmas Eve people will gather in churches to celebrate and re-enact the birth of Jesus, the Christ Child, the Holy One. It is a glorious day and one that many people say is one of their favorite days of the year. Though it is a busy day for me, it is also a favorite, for on this day we once again remember hope and let it shine in our eyes and in the ways we greet one another.

"Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world-stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death-and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas. And if you can keep it for a day, why not always" from The Spirit of Christmas by Henry Van Dyke

Indeed, why not? Perhaps this will be the year when Christmas is everyday. We can hope…..and pray.
May you be surrounded by those you love and who love you in return and may the Spirit of Christmas rest among you this day and everyday.

Merry Christmas………………………..

***I will be traveling over the next several days and will write when there is Internet access.

"It is just before sunrise on a cold December day some three thousand years before the coming of Christ. For those crouched at the heart of the mound it must seem as though light has been banished forever. Then, suddenly, a tiny sliver of sunlight strikes the stone slab at the back of the chamber. Slowly it widens, climbs upward, illuminating a number of mysterious carvings-circles, spirals, zigzag patterns. For the people crouched in the center of the great mound of Brug na Boine(also known as New Grange) every symbol has meaning. But by far the greatest significance is the return of the sun itself. The light that enters the dark womb of the earth brings with it the promise of warmth and life to come." from The Winter Solstice:Sacred Traditions of Christmas by John Matthews

Welcome to the Winter Solstice…the longest night of the year. I love this image painted by the words of John Matthews. This picture helps me remember the very ancient story of which we are all a part. Our ancestors, not blessed with the scientific knowledge we now have, gathered with prayers and intention, with hope beyond hope, that the sun would once again return after their long days in darkness. It may seem simple to us now, or even something we give no thought to, but their story is our story with or without our recognition.

The setting of the date for the celebration of Christmas, the birth of the Christ Child, is complicated but the important thing to remember is that the date, December 25, was set because of many people ‘coming to the light’ including the Emperor Constantine who helped layer his new found Christian faith onto the already established celebration of the Winter Solstice, the return of the sun.The light of the sun, the light of God, the Light of the World…….all connected.

People of each faith tradition like to believe they have the fullness of the story of the Holy moving through time.  This has, of course, caused us much trouble and the loss of many lives. Celebration of Winter Solstice, which we will do this longest night, has the potential of connecting us in deep ways to the Light that always moves into the darkness bringing promise, hope and new life, holding out the chance to begin once again. I believe we call that grace.

So, on this longest night, I pray you can gather with friends or family or strangers who may become friends. Perhaps you can light a candle or build a fire. This is after all, "the night which God has made…let us rejoice and be glad"…for the light will return, grace will prevail. And in this celebration may we be reminded on the invisible lines of connection that unite us throughout time, across traditions, beyond beliefs,in the Spirit of the One who brings light to our lives.

"Brightener of Darkness, hail! Keeper of Clearness, Opener of Depths. Gifts of plenty are arising, Winter wonders, white snows’ fall. Joyful be the heart within us, Open wide the guesting door, Wisdom waken in abundance, Warm our beings to the core."  Caitlin Matthews

Have a joyous weekend……………..

"Will you, God, really live with people on earth? Why, the heavens and their own heavens cannot contain you. How much less this house that I have built…..Listen to the cry and the prayer I make to you today. Day and night let your eyes watch over this house, over this place of which you have said: "My name shall be there."
1 Kings 8:27-29

Yesterday I walked into what is ‘sacred space’ for me. Once a month I am privileged to visit the Carondolet Center at the College of St. Catherine. This beautiful old building represents for me a true center of hospitality, a sacred dwelling. There is always someone with a pleasant greeting as you walk in. There is attention to detail, cleanliness and order. Depending on the Christian season, there will be paintings or displays that invite you to remember that it is, indeed,  Advent or Lent…a candle here, an icon there. Those who work or live in the building….it is still home to a few Sisters of St. Joseph….move through the building with ease and a sense of purpose. Calmness seems to ooze from the walls, held I am sure, in the countless prayers that have been said over the years by these devoted women.

Most of us don’t live or work in such a space. Instead we sometimes successfully seek them out…. that place where we can sense, know, that indeed the Holy moves here. Even though we may claim ‘God is everywhere’, it is often difficult to really feel that is true in many of the spaces we exist. It takes great intention and attention to know the presence of the Holy in many of our spaces. Even our churches can miss the mark of creating ‘sacred space’.

Of course, many of us find the most sacred of spaces not in buildings at all but in a grove of trees, overlooking the sparkling water of a lake, standing on a mountain top gazing out at the land below and beyond. It is often easy to feel the vibration of the Holy under our feet in those places where our body and Earth connect. With stars dancing in the night sky, the Moon shining down on us, we are caught in the Mystery of what it means to be human reflecting upon the Divine.

What is ‘sacred space’ for you? Where is the place you can go to that allows all the pretenses of daily life to dissolve, the place that allows you to connect most fully with the Sacred? Wherever this place is for you, I pray that, during these days that can seemed full and rushed, you can go there and be renewed by the Spirit which cannot be contained in heaven, the place that speaks through its very existence…the eyes of God are watching over this place…..blessed be.

"Night is drawing high-‘How long the road is. But, for all the time the journey has already taken, how you have needed every second of it in order learn what the road passes-by" Dag Hammarskjold

I was searching through a book of Advent resources and came upon this quote. It was a short line among lots of longer paragraphs but its simple, yet profound message jumped out at me. Hammarskjold, a Secretary General of the United Nations and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize understood first hand that on any journey, the stops and detours along the way are equally as important as the beginning and the destination. It is how the work of peace continues.

As the New Year 2008 approaches, I am aware of the twists and turns of the past year, not only in my own life but in the lives of others. It seems we can have very clear goals, have a well defined plan of action, set out on a journey with good intention and then something happens to change our course or at least interrupt it. I think what Hammarskjold is saying is that how we choose to respond to those jags in the road can make all the difference. How we see the little detours to places not on our original itinerary shapes us.

What are the detours you’ve experienced this last year? Have you been completely sidelined by them or have you found a way to see the gifts that are hidden in what might be the ‘plan behind your plan’?  Have you found a way to learn the lessons of what the road passes by and make it a part of moving on with the journey?

In thinking of the story of Christmas, it, too, is a story of journey. Mary and Joseph on the road to Bethlehem. Staying in a barn was probably not a part of their original plan. The shepherds keeping watch and then an angel interrupts what was a pretty calm and quiet life. The Magi, studying the night sky, drawn off course by an unexplainable star. Herod, set to be a ruler and a king, thrown off course by the birth of a baby. There is much we can learn, I believe, from the stories of these journeys.

How long the road is..………..and how rich the journey when we allow ourselves the open heart and gracious spirit to take our plans lightly. Who knows? The detour may just be the road we were meant to take all along.

"Here, in the center of my chest, their constant dwelling: the persistent yearning, the insistent craving, the unbidden imagining, the desire awakening, the daydreams, the nightdreams, the reverie unfolding: the language of longing, drawing me home." Jan L. Richardson

Advent is a season of longing. We don’t use the word much…longing. In some ways it is a painful word, conjuring up feelings that are too difficult to reconcile. Carol Lee Flinders wrote a book called At the Root of This Longing about her deep desire to make peace with her longing for an authentic spiritual life. Between the pages she manages to both tell her story and create a feeling of longing….longing for the connection, the relationship, the union with the Holy, a home. It is pure genius.

In walking the mall last week I witnessed people in pursuit of what might fill their longing. It is easy to get  mixed up at this time of year. We are searching for ‘just the right gift’, the  ‘the perfect present’. Of course, retailers are quite happy to help us try to fill that desire. If we admit it to ourselves, we often also are hoping for the perfect present. We are hoping that someone knows us so well, loves us so much, wants to please and surprise us so much that they will present us with that gift which will get at the root of our longing.

Now this is not meant to be a tirade against Christmas shopping or consumerism necessarily. I love it as much as the next person. What my point is, I guess, is that Advent fills us with a knowing, a deep knowing that we are a apart of a much bigger story than our small life might suggest. We are a part of a story that goes as deep as the ocean and as high as th heavens, that has its beginning at the dawning of Creation. We are a part of a story that is about love that is unimaginable, hope that defies the odds, sacrifice that is beyond reason and life that begins anew with each sunrise, with each blessed breath.

And so at the root of our longing this season is that in the presents we buy, in the lights we light, in the sweets we bake and offer out of our love, in the songs we sing till the tears run down our face, that we will…each of us…remind one another of the holy, sacred story of which we are a part. And that in that reminding, we will find home.

So, you see,in so many ways the gifts don’t matter. It is the intention with which they are offered. As we give a gift, large or small, inexpensive or not, the real gift is offering a reminder of belonging to another person that helps them to know home, to know they are welcome in your life, that they are a part of your story.

"Thou my source and my returning, my beginning and welcome home, bless the path on which I journey; be the way that leads me on."

"A candle light is a protest at midnight. It is a nonconformist. It says to the darkness: "I beg to differ."                                                                                                                                        Samuel Rayan

It was not a candle light. It was much bigger than that. It was a bright orange dinner plate sphere that rose  on the horizon this morning. After nearly nine hours of darkness, the sun finally rose at 7:46 a.m. I was privileged to be driving toward it this morning as it rose, gloriously, into the pale blue and misty sky. In its rising it shouted to the world: "I beg to differ!"

We are in the last of the darkest days of this year. As we approach the Winter Solstice on December 21st, 12:09 a.m.,  the Sun will once again start returning us to days with more light. I recognize that the majority of people walk through these days with very little awareness of this movement, of the variance of light and darkness but this year I have been particularly watchful. Seeing the growing darkness has informed my experience of Advent, of the waiting, the watching, the anticipation, the hope of new life to come.

I have tried very intentionally to not see the darkness as  a negative but as an integral part of the process of birth. Dreams, after all, take place in darkness. Babies are nurtured in the darkness of a womb. Bulbs and seeds are growing in the darkness of the cold soil….even when we cannot see. Many animals are sleeping in the darkness of caves and warm earthy holes, growing even as they rest. Creativity itself often seems to take root and grow out of the darkness of confusion and challenge. Most of us have found spiritual transformation out of what we might refer to as a dark night of the soul.

So these dark days, I believe, are not to be feared or dreaded. Instead they are meant to be opportunities for staying awake and aware to what the darkness has to teach us, to offer us. When we do we may find ourselves staring with awe at that morning platter of rich, fire red and orange…..the Sun that offers us a glimpse of what is yet to be…….another amazing day to walk the Earth with both darkness and light as our backdrop. This Sun which feeds the fields of food we eat and the trees that bring us oxygen also has its work to do…life giving work, nonconformist work. Though we need the darkness for gestation, we need the light for life.

For the next few days, darkness will continue to grow. But in just a few days, the Sun will have its say:"I beg to differ!"

"Darkness cover me like a blanket of night, oh, cover me lightly. Hidden seed, deep in the dark soil of the earth, fertile ground, womb of the night, bring us new birth."   Sara Thomsen