“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.”
? Mother Teresa

Today I am thinking about family. Night before last I woke in the night and for whatever reason began to think, not so much about my biological family, but the families we create, the families I have been a part of creating. The truth as I see it is that we are always a part of multiple families. Sometimes this happens out of necessity and sometimes out of sheer desire. Each of us arrives in the world and into a family through no effort of our own. We inherit the color of eyes, hair, skin, mannerisms of this DNA family. Some on these things we rejoice over, others maybe not so much. But this is the family that birthed us and it is a fact.

We also create families. Those people with whom we share more than casual relationships. Those with whom we celebrate holidays and life events. Many times these are created families of people we choose or who, through circumstance choose us. The examples of these are too numerous to mention and too creative to try to define. These created families are made up of people with whom we often share deep values and a shared worldview. Sometimes this shared understanding of living comes to us through illness, parenting, education, employment and other circles that draw people into a deep experience of living.

Many people find in their place of worship another kind of family. We refer to ‘our church family’ and truly mean it. Like biological families, church families share all the diversity and dissension of what it means to be human. While learning to live under the same roof, we can often learn not only about another way of seeing the world but find the opportunity to further define our own view. This is a good thing. Again, like families who share the same genetics, we don’t always agree, aren’t always our best selves with one another. In this setting, wearing the coat of grace is constant. Spring, summer, fall and winter, in all kinds of weather, we are always reaching for the coat that will soften our words, make our spirits nimble, remind us why we are hanging out together in the first place.

In my own life, in addition to my family that birthed me and still loves me in spite of all my shortcomings, I have several other families. I have my Minnesota family, those folks with whom I celebrate holidays, life events, joys, sorrows, illness, births, deaths. I have my book club family, women and their families who have traveled life’s path wrapped in words and stories and a shared sense of friendship that goes bone deep. I have a family of sorts in a group of other clergy I have met with for years. In this family it is safe to ask big questions, struggle in our work, and tell the truth. And there is my church family, a community with whom I have shared so much of life and who never cease to amaze me as they seek to be faithful people in a spinning world.

Perhaps I woke the other evening thinking of family because I knew that members from one of my families was traveling across the country and would act as kin to our Seattle Son. I knew that this connection was an extension of an umbilical cord that only reaches so far. It is a gift to know that those we love are surrounded by many arms, many hearts. While families are often complicated and messy, most of us would not choose another way to walk the earth. When our DNA families can’t be there for us, we seek out stand-ins. Friends. Neighbors. Church community. This tug to be in relationship is built into us.

What about you? What circles of family hold you? How do you make an intention to connect with these varied and yet important family groups? Today may be a good day to put on your grace coat and reach out.