This morning I was perusing some bookshelves in our house searching for book I thought I may have moved to another shelf upstairs. Over the holidays we have been moving books around to areas of the house that may make more sense. Since I have taken over a spare bedroom as an office space I wasn’t sure whether or not I had moved this particular book upstairs or not. While my eyes were traveling down the row of much thumbed through pages, I reached for a book i have only barely paged through.I lifted off the shelf. Stretching Lessons:The Daring That Starts from Within  by Sue Bender found its way into my hands.

This was not the book I was searching for but perhaps it is the one I needed to find. Over my steaming bowl of oatmeal topped with blackberries and walnuts, I opened to the first short essay. Here are just a few of the lines that jumped off the page at me: “PRACTICE ENJOYING. DON’T PRACTICE STRUGGLING.” “ Unlearn the habit of trying. It’s not about trying-it’s about allowing.” “Listen to the whispers.” “There’s a different between hard work and unnecessary suffering.” “I want to learn about ease.” All this and more in the span of three short pages.

The book is a collection of short essays, more reflections really, on the author’s working habits, writing habits and her desire to live more fully, more joyfully. Like most of us she had learned the lesson well that work must be hard. That to truly be successful at what you do, suffering, long hours, extreme self-sacrifice is involved. At the age of sixty-six, she set about exploring whether or not that is really true, really necessary. Any of this sound familiar to you?

As I said, this book jumped off the shelf at me, I was not looking for it. As I began to read and take in its message, an encounter I had yesterday came flashing to mind. I was speaking to a trusted confidant about some of the challenges and opportunities that are happening in my work and my life right now. As usual my hands were flying around as I spoke. When I had finished my impassioned monologue, the patient listener quietly said,   “Maybe you need to stop struggling so against all this. Maybe you need to open yourself to what might be the gift in it all.”

She then showed me the movements I had been making with my hands as I spoke. My arms had been outstretched and stiff, my hands up, palms facing out. The perfect stance of the traffic cop who wants to stop traffic in its tracks. No one, nothing was getting past that stance. She then suggested that I soften my arms, round and extend them a bit and place my palms up as if to received the gift of whatever may come my way. How different my body felt. How different my mind and spirit felt when I realized that I had been the greatest contributor to the struggle and stress I was feeling.

So, as I begin this day, I am walking into the world with my arms outstretched, ready to receive what comes my way. When challenges arrive, I pray to keep my arms and hands in this same, soft position, if not literally then spiritually, so I may be ready to receive……and then offer the gifts I have for the work that needs to be done. If you, too, are struggling against obstacles that are bruising your spirit, stealing your joy, I offer this suggestion for a new way of moving in the world.

Enjoy…..allow…..listen to the whispers.