“Because even the smallest of words can be the ones to hurt you, or save you.” 
? Natsuki Takaya

There is a saying many of us were probably told when we were young either by a parent or a teacher: “Sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” At some point we quickly realize that, while the intention may have been admirable, the words were simply untrue. Words have the power to hurt or heal, manipulate or move, comfort or confound, soothe or scar. How we use words is so on my mind these days as our lives seem to be flooded by a near constant barrage of cavalier statements by world leaders, politicians, and others that take to the bully pulpit that social media has become. 

Recently I began to make some mental connections about all this word play while doing my gig as a volunteer at the airport. I wrote about this new pastime a couple of weeks ago. During my time there the words I say most often are: “Can I help?” This question is posed to someone standing, staring at a screen on the wall or in their hand. They look everything from confused to exhausted to frightened. When I say those three words…”Can I help?”, I have most often seen their faces relax, their shoulders drop from their ears and they give themselves over for at least a moment to receiving someone’s guidance, someone offering a quick bit of help that will move them along in their day. For me, as the one who asks the question, it becomes a quick interchange of humanity that lightens my own heart and fills me with a sense that, at least in this instance, I can do something to help a fellow Earth traveler. Of course, this kind of help does not come close to being help they may need in other parts of their lives. But for now it is a pretty good thing.

This led me to thinking about the other ways in which certain words, certain phrases, have the power to make an impact. “Welcome.” is a good place to start. Doors are flung open wide when someone offers this greeting. Who knows what could happen?  “I’m sorry.” is another that can make all the difference in the world. And then there is “I forgive you.” How many people are waiting to hear just those three little words? And, of course, there is the pinnacle of three words…”I love you.” Something we all long to hear. Over and over again.

All these words, though small and ordinary, carry the gift to shift situations, circumstances, lives. And when those words are prefaced by someone saying our name, allowing it to form and come to life on another’s tongue, that is the proverbial cherry on the sundae. Saying our name says:”I see you. I care about you. I want to connect with you.” Hearing our name spoken in a caring, compassionate voice is like honey dripping from the mouth of the Holy.

One last phrase. My dear, beloved husband who left this Earth too soon always said that all people really want to hear is:”Everything’s going to be okay.” This is what he believed children, teenagers, adults want to be told again and again. In sermons. In speeches. In classrooms. Across kitchen tables. “Everything is going to be okay.” While it may not be what we want or what we hoped for, in the big scheme of Everything, it will be some kind of okay. For those in situations around this whirling planet who are living under unimaginable terror and pain, perhaps it is up to the rest of us to work and pray and vote to make this statement come to life. The Sun and Moon will rise. The seasons will move from one to the other. Someplace in all that there is an ‘okay’ living for us to hold onto.

Over the next months there will be many moments when it may seem as if the fraying will threaten to undo us. Perhaps then is the time when we each can say to at least one other person: “Can I help?” “Welcome.” “I’m sorry.” “I forgive you.” “I see you.” “I care about you.” “I love you.” 

“Everything’s going to be okay.”