And Mary held
the infant
In her arms
new to the world,
fresh gift of her
labored body.
Like mothers before
and after
she quietly practiced
her dreams for him.
Dreams that would last a lifetime.
…….May he know happiness
and safety.
…….May his eyes behold beauty
that fills his heart.
…….May he love and
be loved.
…….May he find his path
and walk it with wisdom and courage.
…….May his life be long and full.
All these dreams
poured into the soft, warm flesh
of the tiny child
nestled against hers,
dependent upon hers
for what would sustain.
As it was in the beginning
is now and ever shall be
world without end.
Amen
I wrote this poem for the church’s Advent devotional this year. I titled it ‘Mary’s Dreaming’ but the truth of the matter is, the words are what I believe most mothers dream at some conscious level or one that floats below the surface of their knowing. At a Christmas gathering on Wednesday, another person read the poem aloud and affirmed that, indeed, this is what she has longed for her own children, now all grown up, and far from that time when they can be swaddled and held safe. It was an honor to have it read but also to have it affirmed that my instinct was a common one.
Yesterday, our younger son turned twenty-one, a milestone for all number of reasons. Though at eighteen, he could vote which is a signal of adulthood, twenty-one is the age the majority in our culture see as truly be a grown up. And he is. It has been amazing to watch him mature, to see his new found confidence and his love of the precious world around him. To be present to the emergence of another human being may be the greatest gift there is, whether you are parent, grandparent, teacher, neighbor. Whatever the relationship, to be present and observe another discover their gifts, understand their limitations, know what brings them joy and what crushes them, watch them overcome challenges and achieve success, is a privilege beyond comprehension or articulation.
As I reflected yesterday on the immense gift this young man has been in my life, I remembered a statement my mother made when his older brother was born. “From this day on, you will always be a parent.”, she said in all her ever-present wisdom. I knew what she meant and it took my breath away, caused me to shake a bit. No matter the age-infant, toddler, teenage, adult- I would always be a mother. I would always have some small part of my brain and my heart tuned to where my children were. I would always have concern, hope, dreams, and love for them. And, of course, as always, she has been exactly right.
In a few weeks we will gather and read the Christmas story. Children will don white robes and angels wings. Others will cover their heads with brown scarves and carry shepherd’s crooks. The older, taller chosen three will get to wear crowns and carry bejeweled boxes. All on their way to honor the Christ Child. There will be laughter and tears all wrapped up in the gift of memory and promise.
But I will listen with my mother ears for my favorite line in the story: ” And Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.”