"There is within all things, a hidden wholeness"  Thomas Merton

In my daily reading I read an account by Reuben Job, one of United Methodist’s great leaders, recounting an ordination service that took place in the 1960s. For those who don’t know, one of the historic questions asked those coming for ordination in the United Methodist Church is "Are you going on to perfection?" It is the second question of seventeen that are asked those who have heeded a call to ministry in this denomination. The story goes that one ordinand, when asked the question by the the presiding bishop, answered with a loud and resounding "NO!" The bishop then asked the person, "Then, where are you going?"

I don’t know if this story is legend or true. But the story does nudge me. "Where are you going?" Where am I going? I am certain that "perfection" had a different connotation in John Wesley’s day than it does now. And even if I am able to wade through the ideas of the many ways our culture tries to achieve perfection….nip this, tuck that, eat this, don’t eat that, climb this ladder, buy this,borrow that…it is a difficult word, perfection. I am sure we have all been privy to the playground(high school hallways, boardroom) chide of "Well, if it isn’t Ms.(Mr.) Perfect!" In this instance none of us want to be going on to receive that kind of remark aimed at us.

A more apt question might be:"Are you going on to wholeness?" Am I moving toward a relationship with the Holy, others, Creation and myself that is one of wholeness,one that is undivided? It is a question we might ask ourselves with each new day. Make no mistake, it is not an easy question…to ask, to answer, to live. But we all might agree that in the end, it is an eternally important one. How might you answer?

Perhaps it is the gray days of November that have me wondering about where my life is moving. Perhaps it is my age or the state of the world or this time in my career or the future of the church. I don’t know its source but the question is nagging me. Oh, wait…maybe I do know its Source.

"The time will come when, with elation, you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror, and each  will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread.Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life."  Derek Wolcott