I often say that it is an ‘occupational hazard’ that I read the obituaries every morning in the newspaper. Often I will recognize a name of a former church member, someone I have known in another part of their life and mine, and I will send a blessing for their living, for their family. Still other times, a sad situation will present itself, where a member of our large church dies and no one has notified us that they are ill, we have lost the connection that would make that so, and we have not been present to them in these times. So many emotions crowd into that space.

But often I read them out of curiosity and as a personal reminder of my own human-ness, my own mortality. I am most interested in what words people choose to describe the life of their loved one. Most times the obituary says as much about those who wrote it as it does about the one who has passed on. Which seems logical, right, important, somehow, for they are the ones doing the grieving, the remembering.

In describing the life of one young woman, her family said she was "dragged kicking and screaming into the hereafter." I have always remembered that. It spoke of her tenacity, her spunk, and their huge loss in such a vibrant way. Still others write of their loss of all kinds of physical battles with cancer, with chronic illnesses, with depression. I imagine the journey they have all traveled together…the lessons learned, the growth that has happened, the anger that has lived in their presence, the resolutions they have endured.

Today I read:"No memorials;only ask that you give a smile to the next person you see." I am looking right now at the photo of someone I have never met…this person who through her death has invited me into the life she tried to live, into the simple way she walked upon the earth. How can I not respond?

Her simple wish reminded me of an anonymous poem I have read at funerals from time to time. "When I die if you need to weep cry for your brother or sister walking beside you. And when you need me, put your arms around anyone and give them what you need to give me. I want to leave you something, something better than words or sounds. Look for me in the people I’ve known or loved and if you cannot give me away, at least let me live in your eyes and not on your mind. You can love me most by letting hands touch hands, by letting bodies touch bodies, and by letting go of children that need to be free. Love doesn’t die, people do. So when all that’s left of me is love, give me away."

We walk through our days, through our living, with the memories …..and the spirits…. of those we’ve loved and those others have loved, moving all around us. Today, I will be walking and offering a smile…..because someone invited me to do so….with her living.