This morning the first words from my husband’s mouth after "Good morning" were "Do you remember what you were dreaming?" I didn’t. He then told me that I had awakened him with the words:"I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you." Wow! It must have been unnerving. I am a usually a very peaceful person, calm for the most part, not given to daytime or nightime threats.

But last night I couldn’t get to sleep. So I roamed the house. I read fiction. I read nonfiction. I made lists of all the things I hadn’t gotten to that day. I worried.I prayed. I tried again to sleep only to get up and go back downstairs to wait for the sound of our son coming into the house. Back in bed, my dreams must have taken me to places that reflected my fitfulness.

This morning I was reminded of the words from one of my favorite books, one I return to over and over. Sabbath:Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives by Wayne Muller. The author tells of his own work to reclaim the ancient Hebrew practice and observance of Sabbath. He begins by talking of how Americans particularly like say " I am so busy" as a badge of honor. The busier we are, the more successful. Muller writes that the Chinese pictograph for "busy" is composed of two characters: heart and killing.

Many faith traditions put great stock in dreams. In fact even our Christian ancestors did. The wise ones have always interpreted dreams and changed their lives as directed by these nighttime stories played out in our unconscious. The Holy often visits in dreams, when we are not too preoccupied by the to-do lists, the distractions, when we are at rest in the place between doing and being.

I wonder if it was "busyness" I was trying to kill in my dream? I wonder if I was trying to save my heart?